11 Writing examples – Email/Story/Article | B1 Preliminary (PET)
Writing examples for the B1 Preliminary (PET) Cambridge exam along with sample examiners’ comments and suggested grades.
B1 (PET) Email Writing Example: End of year party
Topic
From: Mrs Lake Dear Class, I’d like our class to have a party to celebrate the end of the school year. (Great!) We could either have a party in the classroom or we could go to the park. Which would you prefer to do? (Explain) What sort of activities or games should we do during the party? (Suggest…) What food do you think we should have at the party? (Tell Mrs Lake ) Reply soon! |
Write your email to Mrs Lake using all the notes.
Answer:
I’m very nervous for this party, to celebrate the end of the school year.
I think that the best place to do the party is the class, because in this way we can be all together. In the class we can do a lot of activities like play with the blackboard, or watch a film, or listen to music.
About the food, we can have pizza, fries and for the sweet people chocolate, sweets or something like this.
I’m sure the party is going to be very well, and we are going to have a very good time.
See you soon!
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task. The target reader is fully informed about all the points in the task. The first point has been addressed, although the word nervous has been used incorrectly for this context. However, the rest of the email is positively phrased, so this can be seen as a slip. There is a preference expressed, (the class), and suggestions are given regarding activities, play with the blackboard, and food, pizza, fries; chocolate, sweets. |
| Communicative Achievement | 3 | The conventions of an email, such as a friendly, polite tone, and a consistent register, are used in generally appropriate ways to communicate straightforward ideas: I think that; About the food; I’m sure the party is going to be very well; See you soon. There is no opening salutation, but it is clearly directed towards Mrs Lake and the information is presented in a suitable format for a teacher to read. |
| Organisation | 3 | The text is connected and coherent. Paragraphs are used to good effect, each focusing on one aspect. The text is connected using linking words and some cohesive devices, such as referencing: this party; because in this way; About the food; and for the sweet people. |
| Language | 3 | Everyday vocabulary, suitable for the topic, is used generally appropriately: the best place; together; blackboard; pizza; fries; chocolate; sweets; good time. The use of nervous in the first sentence is slightly distracting as it does not convey the correct emotion. Simple grammatical forms are used with a good degree of control: I think that the best place to do the party; we can be all together; listen to music; something like this; is going to be; we are going to have a very good time. Errors are noticeable but meaning can still be determined |
Answer:
Dear Mrs Lake,
I think it’s a great idea to have a party to celebrate the end of the school year. I prefer to do the party at school, in the classroom, because we’ve spend a lot of time there, and I think it would be better, so that we can remember all the good things that have made this year so special. I think we could bring some games like domino, or one of us can bring his Play Station and we can play together. If you want, I will buy some pizza, and also something to drink like coca-cola or water. The other students will bring some potatoes, and the girls will make a cake. Do you like the idea?
See you!
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task. The target reader is fully informed about all the points in the task. There is a direct response to the first point. Suggestions are made about the activities, some games like domino, and what food to bring, pizza; coca-cola; potatoes; cake |
| Communicative Achievement | 5 | The conventions of an email, such as a friendly, enthusiastic tone, a consistent register, as well as appropriate opening and closing salutations, are used to hold the target reader’s attention and to communicate straightforward ideas in response to the initial input text, Dear Mrs Lake; If you want; Do you like the idea? See you. Suggestions are made and supported with reasons to explain the decision taken, I prefer to do the party at school … because we’ve spend a lot of time there. |
| Organisation | 4 | The text is generally well organised and coherent. Although there is only one paragraph, the text is connected through the use of a variety of linking words and cohesive devices, particularly referencing, which makes the text flow very naturally, a party; the party; at school, in the classroom, because; there, and I think it would be better; so that; the good things that; this year; like; one of us; also; other students. |
| Language | 4 | A range of everyday vocabulary, suitable for the topic, is used appropriately, remember; all the good things; special; bring some games; together; pizza. A range of simple and some more complex grammatical forms is used with a good degree of control, we’ve spend a lot of time there; I think it would be better; that have made this year so special; I think we could bring … or one of us can bring; If you want, I will buy; the girls will make a cake. There are one or two errors, but they do not impede communication, we’ve spend; one of us can bring his Play Station. |
Submit your B1 Email/Story/Article for evaluation!
Check what grade you would get on exam and follow your porgress!B1 (PET) Email Writing Example: New film club
Topic
From: Mrs Rose I’d like to start an after-school Film Club. (That’s great) We can meet either on Monday or Friday afternoon. Which one would you prefer? (Explain) Which types of film would you like to see? (Explain which) I want to provide some food and drink during the films. Is this a good idea? (Give your opinion) Please let me know what you think. |
Write your email to Mrs Rose using all the notes.
Answer:
Hey! Thats great!
I’m doesn’t prefer Monday afternoon is doesn’t possible to me, because I have tennis classes after school, and next. I am going with Laura houses, and Friday is perfect. For me, I don’t have nothing, do you like this day?
My favorite types of the films is comedi and romantic film, and in the film club was another, and you like, we can see, I don’t have any prolem to the film. Yes, is a very good idea, I am buying some pop corn and a botle water or and sweets I don’t know, were you buy in
Kises
WRite me soon and see you soon
Clara!
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task and each point is addressed and developed. The target reader is fully informed in terms of content, and there is information to develop the three main content points. |
| Communicative Achievement | 2 | There is an attempt to use the conventions of the communicative task, although this is sometimes inappropriate, for example in the closing salutations. The target reader has to make an effort to follow the ideas in places, but overall the points and message are communicated. |
| Organisation | 2 | The email is organised overall in that it covers each point in turn, sometimes using paragraphing to separate the points. The text is connected using basic linking words: because; and; and next. However, the organisation of sentences and use of punctuation, relying heavily on commas, results in a style more suitable for informal, spoken language rather than that of an organised written communication. |
| Language | 1 | Basic vocabulary is used reasonably appropriately. There is some degree of control of language at times. However, the numerous errors and lack of control impede meaning at times. |
Answer:
Good afternoon Mrs Rose
I just got your email and I think it’s really great idea becase I think lots of people like watching films.
I personally would prefer Mondays because on Fridays I often have other plans with my family.
I would really love to see some detective or some action films but I relly do’t mind watching something different.
I think it’s good idea to have some food or drink during the film because lots of people are used to it because in cinemas they always eat something so i think it would be great
Have a nice day
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task. The target reader is fully informed about all the points in the task and there is a direct and clear response to each one in turn. The candidate covers the first point, I think it’s really great idea, and clearly says which day they would prefer and explains why. The candidate explains which types of films they would like to see, and gives an opinion about providing food and drink during the films. This script therefore obtains a 5 for content as the content points are addressed and appropriately developed. |
| Communicative Achievement | 5 | The conventions of an email are used, with opening and closing salutations appropriate for the candidate’s context, and there is also a reference to the input email at the beginning: I just got your email. The register is consistent and appropriate. The email holds the reader’s attention throughout, and communicates straightforward ideas in direct response to the input email. Points are expressed and explained very clearly |
| Organisation | 4 | The email is well organised and always coherent, with a clearly demarcated short paragraph for each point. There is some use of referencing as a cohesive device: lots of people are used to it; so i think it would be great, and the text flows naturally, although there is overreliance on some linking words, such as because. |
| Language | 4 | A range of everyday vocabulary appropriate for the topic is used: detective or some action films; I personally would prefer; other plans with my family. There is a good degree of control of language. There are very few errors and none which impede communication. The candidate could improve their language mark by evidencing more use of complex grammatical forms, and more variety in sentence structure. |
FCE, CAE, PET
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B1 (PET) Article Writing Example: What makes you laugh?
Topic
You see this announcement in your school English-language magazine.
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? |
Write your article.
Answer:
I love to watch comedies a lot because it makes me laugh. The comedy I love the most is the Chinese Running Man. I enjoy watching and laughing it with my family. In the show, famous actors and actresses must overcome some challenging quests, such as trading a coffee bean with someone else for something more expensive and racing in the mud to capture the flag. The storylines are very interesting and they always tickles my funny bone. Laughing out loud is great! Laughing can help us to release stress and make us feel better. It may also make us more attractive too!
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task. The target reader is fully informed about what the candidate finds funny, and who they laugh with, with my family and the final point is developed quite well and introduces a wider view, Laughing can help us release stress. |
| Communicative Achievement | 5 | The conventions of article writing, such as sharing personal information and expressing opinions, are used to hold the target reader’s attention and to communicate straightforward ideas. The topic is clearly introduced, I love to watch comedies a lot because it makes me laugh and there is a nice balance between how the writer feels and how laughing affects the wider public. |
| Organisation | 5 | The text is generally well organised and coherent. There is a variety of linking words and some cohesive devices, particularly reference to avoid repetition, are used to connect the ideas across and within sentences. |
| Language | 5 | A range of everyday vocabulary is used appropriately, and there are examples of less common lexis as well. A range of simple and more complex grammatical forms, particularly modal verbs, are used with a good degree of control Errors do not impede communication |
Answer:
So, I laugh always and for nothing.
I find very funny when someone fall down and I laugh for bad jokes. I like to watch funnys videos to laugh.
I enjoy laughing with my family and my friend but I really enjoy laughing with my best friend.
I think it’s good to laugh a lot and have humour to have a funny and good. I find important laugh with our friends to be better and have a good life.
It’s for this I laugh for anything and I enjoy life like it is
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task. The target reader is fully informed about what the candidate finds funny. |
| Communicative Achievement | 3 | The conventions of article writing, such as sharing personal information and expressing opinions, are used generally appropriately to communicate straightforward ideas, I think it’s good to laugh a lot; It’s for this I laugh for anything. The article doesn’t have a standard introduction, but the topic is generally introduced with a sentence about what the candidate does, So, I laugh always and for nothing. |
| Organisation | 3 | The text is connected and coherent. Paragraphs are used to separate the text into sections and, although these are often limited to one sentence, different ideas are expressed in each one, providing a structure to the text. Some basic linking words and the occasional cohesive device, such as a referencing pronoun, are used to connect the ideas. |
| Language | 3 | Everyday vocabulary is used generally appropriately. Simple grammatical forms, such as the present tense, are used with a good degree of control, although there is not much variety in terms of tenses used. There are some noticeable errors, with agreement and prepositions, but meaning can still be determined, someone fall down; laugh for bad jokes; funnys videos; to have a funny and good; I laugh for anything. |
Answer:
What makes me laugh? Pretty much everthing. I can start laughing simply from watching my cat trying to catch a laser dot on the wall, or a fly. And I laugh even more with my friends and family. It is practically the only way we are spending with ourselfs ourselves. We are making jokes, laughing at something or telling funny stories about our trips, days at school or our pets.
I think it is important to laugh a lot, because it makes everyday stress easier to handle or it simply wears off! And it makes you look happy, optimistic and ready for a challenge.
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task and the candidate has addressed all the questions in the input announcement.The target reader is fully informed, and there is development of the points, in particular of who you enjoy laughing with and the last two questions in the input announcement. |
| Communicative Achievement | 5 | The candidate uses the conventions of the communicative task of an article successfully, such as the opening question echoed from the input announcement, to obtain the reader’s interest and attention; an appropriate informal register and engaging style, which holds the reader’s attention throughout; and a clear and motivating concluding paragraph. Straightforward ideas are communicated in an entertaining way. |
| Organisation | 4 | The article is generally well organised and coherent, using linking words and some cohesive devices: I can start laughing … And I laugh even more; It is practically the only way; And it makes you look happy |
| Language | 4 | The candidate uses a range of vocabulary appropriately: Pretty much; It is practically the only way; making jokes; telling funny stories; it makes everyday stress easier to handle or it simply wears off … happy, optimistic and ready for a challenge. Simple grammatical forms are used with a good degree of control, for example, I can start laughing simply from watching my cat trying to catch a laser dot on the wall. However, the language is less accurate in the second part of the first paragraph and present continuous is used incorrectly: … the only way we are spending with ourselfs (candidate corrects to ourselves). |
Answer:
I have got many friends who can make me laugh. I am a big optimist, so I love laugh. I laugh every time when I am at school, at home, in the park, simply everywhere. My dad always makes my laugh, because he is very funny adnd his funny stories are the best of the best. If I am alone, I usually watch comedies. But the best comedy serial The Simpsons. The yellow family is the funniest family which I know. My favourite type of joke is black joke.It is bad, but funny. When I am surfing on the Internet I’m always searching videos called “Try not to laugh”. I can’t accept it because it is too funny.
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 3 | The target reader is on the whole informed, and knows what the candidate finds funny and who they enjoy laughing with. There is considerable development of these ideas. There is no reference however to Do you think it is a good idea to laugh or not? and consequently the Why/Why not? questions in the prompt, which are completely omitted. |
| Communicative Achievement | 3 | The text uses an appropriate register and tone for an article, although there is very little idea of a target audience, or attempt to address readers and hold their attention. The text communicates straightforward ideas in response to the input prompt questions, e.g. I laugh every time when I am at school, at home, in the park, simply everywhere, and But the best comedy serial The Simpsons. |
| Organisation | 3 | The text is coherent throughout and connected, using basic linking words, such as so, because, but and a limited number of cohesive devices, such as referencing and pronouns (it, which, who). The candidate could have improved the organisation of the text by using longer sentences and more linking between sentences, as well as paragraphing. |
| Language | 4 | There is some ambition of range, in both vocabulary and structure which is largely successful. Overall, the text shows a good degree of control of language, with minimal and non-impeding errors, except for the use of accept which is distracting. |
B1 (PET) Story Writing Example: Classroom
Topic
Your English teacher has asked you to write a story. Your story must begin with ‘I couldn’t believe what I saw when I walked into the classroom. |
Write your story.
Answer:
The teacher couldn’t believe what she saw when she opened the door of the class room! There was a Runway, with models, bloggers and every person fashionist in the world. The teacher at the beggining was mad, but later she started so happy and she fun, like everyone. The runway and party later have a lot of entertainment, good music, the food was very delicious. I was fun so much, I meet amaizing people, I dance. It was an incredible day, but I have my punishment with the teacher to the end
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | All content is relevant to the task. The story clearly and naturally follows on from the prompt sentence in the task: There was a Runway with … world. The target reader is fully informed about the events in the story. |
| Communicative Achievement | 3 | The text uses the conventions of story writing, in generally appropriate ways to communicate straightforward ideas. There is a simple narrative development (beginning, middle and end), although the switching from third to first person is a little confusing. The conclusion is also a little unclear: … but I have my punishment with the teacher to the end. |
| Organisation | 3 | The story is connected and coherent, using basic linking words and a limited number of cohesive devices: There was … and…; The teacher … but later she …; It was an incredible day, but … |
| Language | 3 | Everyday vocabulary is generally used appropriately, Simple grammatical forms are used with reasonable control: It was an incredible day; The teacher at the beggining was mad, but later she started so happy and she fun, like everyone. Errors are noticeable, but meaning can still be determined: she started so happy; she fun; … later have a lot of entertainment; I was fun so much; I meet amaizing people; to the end. In particular, there is inconsistent use of the simple past tense, and the candidate could have easily improved their writing by checking this, by carefully reading through the script before the end of the exam. |
B1 (PET) Story Writing Example: Jo and map
Topic
Your English teacher has asked you to write a story. Your story must begin with this sentence. “Jo looked at the map and decided to go left.” |
Write your story.
Answer:
Jo looked at the map and decided to go left. He wanted to go to the Karpats on foot. Jo liked to go to the rivers, forests and mountains on foot. He always took map with he. But one day he lost! Jo was very worried and scared. He was in the forest one week. He was could at night, he was very hot in the afternoon. He ate mushroomes and berries. But he found a way from the forest. And from that day he never came to the forest on foot. He always go to the rivers, forests and mountains on ships, by trains, by plantes. But he never go to the unknows places on foot.
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 5 | The story continues from the prompt, with a beginning, middle and end, and all the content is relevant. The target reader is fully informed. |
| Communicative Achievement | 3 | The story follows the conventions of storytelling in generally appropriate ways. The simple storyline is communicated to the reader, despite errors and weak organisation. |
| Organisation | 3 | The text is connected using a limited number of linking words (and; But; from that day). Although the majority of sentences are short and there is limited linking across sentences, the story is coherent. |
| Language | 3 | Everyday vocabulary is used generally appropriately. There is some evidence of less common lexis appropriate to the story (mushroomes and berries; found a way; unknows places). Spelling errors generally do not cause confusion, with the exception of could for cold and plantes for planes. Simple grammatical forms (mainly simple past tense) are used with a good degree of control. While errors are noticeable, the meaning can still be determined. |
Answer:
Jo looked at the map and decided to go left. Jo were in car with he friend, Lucy and go from city in car. Jo decide go in your car and nice day. They leave soon and take map but Jo looked at map and decided to go left so went in bad way and Lucy cry. They don’t came in good way and go to the your home. When they came house nobody home so they watch tv and see film and enjoy
Comments:
| Subscale | Grade | Commentary |
| Content | 4 | The content is relevant to the storyline prompt. The story begins with the prompt, which is repeated in the middle of the story. The target reader is informed, and the story has a clear ending. |
| Communicative Achievement | 1 | The storyline is communicated in simple ways. The format is appropriate, but the target reader has to make an effort to follow the story at times (for example, due to errors with pronouns). |
| Organisation | 2 | The text is connected and coherent, using basic linking words (and; but; when; so). |
| Language | 2 | Everyday vocabulary is used generally appropriately. Simple grammatical forms are used with some degree of control but there are a number of errors, which distract at times (Jo were in car with he friend; They don’t came in good way and go to the your home). |