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Essay – examples & model answers | B2 First (FCE)

Level: B2
Exam:
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FCE Essay Examples:  Topic (Environment) 
FCE Essay Examples: Topic (Fashion) 
FCE Essay Examples: Topic (Languages) 
FCE Essay Example: Topic (History) 

FCE Essay Examples:  Topic (Environment) 

Question:

In your English class you have been talking about the environment. Write an essay using all the notes and give reasons for your point of view.

Every country in the world has problems with pollution and damage to the environment.
Do you think these problems can be solved?

Notes:

Write about:
1. transport
2. rivers and seas
3. ………………………… (your own idea)

Answer:

I think that my country has problems with pollution to the environment like all other countries. This problem is normal for Russia. We have big problems with transport because there are too much cars in our country. And because of that we have problems with atmospeer, air in my city and in all Russia is really dirty and sometimes I can’t make a sigh because it smells around me and of course around that cars on the road. I’ve heard about tradition of one country. They don’t go anywhere by car one day a month or a year, they just use bycicle or their feet. I think it could be very good if we had a tradition like that.

So, what about the rivers and the seas? Yeah, there are some really good and clean rivers and seas where you can go, but there are not many of them. Once I saw the river OB in my city, it was about two years ago but I stil remember that in some places it was not blue, it was green or purple I didn’t really understand because it had different colours.

I don’t know what should we do. Maybe we should just open our eyes and look what we did. But Russian people don’t care about the world around them many people care only about themselves an that’s all.

So, the best idea is look around and try to do something good for our planet and for us and our children.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content3All content is relevant to the task but the target reader is on the whole informed rather than fully informed as, the central question as to whether or not the problems can be solved has not really been addressed.

The candidate discusses the environmental impact of transport and the cleanliness of rivers, and provides one suggested solution for the problem of transport (They don’t go anywhere by car one day a month). The writer’s opinion is clear in I think it could be very good if we had a tradition like that.

No solutions are discussed for rivers and seas, and no third aspect of environmental damage is provided.

Communicative
Achievement
3The conventions of essay writing are used; there is an opening statement and a development of the subject matter, with a conclusion at the end.

The register is suitably neutral for the most part, although the use of a colloquial yeah is not consistent with the rest of the essay. The essay is written for the most part in an objective way, but there is use of personal, subjective examples (Once I saw the river; I can’t make a sigh), which lessen the impact of the bigger problems.

The target reader’s attention is held and straightforward ideas are communicated

Organisation3The text is generally well organised and coherent. It is separated into paragraphs and the punctuation is generally used effectively, although there are some long sentences (And because of that we have problems with atmospeer, air in my city and in all Russia is really dirty and sometimes I can’t make a sigh because it smells around me and of course around that cars on the road).

There is a variety of linking words (because; and; So; because of that) and some cohesive devices such as referencing pronouns, relative clauses and rhetorical questions to connect the ideas within the text.

Language3There is a range of everyday vocabulary used appropriately, and although there are errors, they do not impede communication (atmospeer; bycicle; sigh).

There is a range of simple and some more complex grammatical forms: past and present verb forms are used with a good degree of control.

Answer:

To begin with pollution and damage to the environment is the most serious and difficult problem for countries of all over the world. Scientists of different countries predict a global ecocatastrophe if people won’t change their attitude to our planet.

First of all a huge damage to the environment brings a transport. People can’t imagine their living without cars, buses, trains, ships and planes. But it’s an open secret that one of disadvantage of these accustomed things is harmful exhaust. Needless to say that use of environment friendly engines helps us to save atmosphere from pollution.

In addition to this our rivers and seas are in not less danger situation. It’s a fact of common knowledge that numerous factories and plants pour off their waste to ponds. Obviously that cleaning manufacturing water helps to avoid extinction of ocean residents.

Apart from this I’m inclined to believe that every person can and must contribute to solving this important problem. Doing a little steps for protection our environment every day we will be able to save our Earth. And it’s a task of each of us.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content4All content is relevant to the task. However, the target reader is on the whole informed, rather than being fully informed. Both numbered points (transport; rivers and seas) are referred to with some discussion of the problems caused (harmful exhaust; factories which pour off their waste to ponds) and some limited mention of solutions.

No tangible 3rd aspect of environmental damage is discussed.

While the writer does conclude with a strong statement of opinion (every person can and must) the reader is not fully informed on the solutions proposed (Doing a little steps for protection our environment every day we will be able to save our Earth)

Communicative
Achievement
3The essay is written in a consistently neutral register and the format is appropriate for the communicative task, using more formal language to introduce the ideas within the text (To begin with; First of all; It’s a fact of common knowledge).

There is a clear essay structure with an opening statement, topic paragraphs and a conclusion which sums up the writer’s point of view.

Straightforward ideas are communicated to the target reader but when more complex ideas are attempted these are sometimes not as successful (Obviously that cleaning manufacturing water helps to avoid extinction of ocean residents).

Organisation3The text is generally well organised and coherent, using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices, particularly to introduce the ideas throughout the text (To begin with; In addition to this; Needless to say; Apart from this).

The essay is clearly organised into paragraphs, which each deal with one idea. Occasionally the followup examples are not as clearly connected as they could be. For example, they discuss how factories pollute pond water and then offer a solution which would help ocean residents

Language3There is a range of everyday vocabulary used appropriately with some attempt to use more sophisticated lexis (a global ecocatastrophe; atmosphere; common knowledge; factories and plants; inclined to believe; must contribute to solving).

There is a range of simple and some more complex grammatical forms used, and although there are errors, these do not impede communication (a huge damage; People can’t imagine their living without cars; one of disadvantage; in not less danger situation).

 

Answer:

DEVELOPMENT VS ENVIRONMENT

If we surf the web looking for pollution and environmental catastrophes, we will find out that every country in the world suffers them. This is a natural consequence of the struggle between development and environment.

If a country decided to live isolated from the rest of the world, living on what it can naturally grow and produce, it surely wouldn’t be highly polluted. But we all want exotic food and technological items from all over the world, so we have to pay the price.

Investing on electrical transport would benefit the environment a lot. Even more if this electricity came from a natural source of energy like wind, rivers and solar boards. It’s difficult to achieve this because petrol companies will fight against these actions.

We also have to take care of our rivers and seas. We all have heard about factories throwing highly toxic substances to rivers, without minimizing their poisoning effects. A really strict law should be applied to fine these factories and make them change their policy.

But what about ourselves? We also can do a lot! If, when possible, we bought larger packs of food, we would be producing less rubbish. And this is only an example!

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content5All content is relevant to the task and the target reader is fully informed.

Transport is discussed with suggestions of how using different forms of transport would help the environment (Investing on electrical transport would benefit the environment a lot). The candidate then evaluates the suggestion (It’s difficult to achieve this …).

Water pollution is described and a solution is offered (A really strict law should be applied to fine these factories). The writer’s opinion is clear in the choice of modal should.

A third aspect (waste reduction) is introduced in the final paragraph with a suggestion about how to achieve this (If, when possible, we bought larger packs of food …). The writer’s opinion is expressed clearly (We also can do a lot!).

Communicative
Achievement
5The conventions of the essay format are used effectively to hold the target reader’s attention.

There is an introductory paragraph which outlines the issues in general terms, and the concluding paragraph sums up in more concrete terms, what we, the readers can do to help.

The register is consistently appropriate and the subject matter is dealt with in an objective manner, for example Investing on electrical transport; If a country decided.

Straightforward and complex ideas are communicated (It’s difficult to achieve this because petrol companies will fight against these actions).

Organisation4The essay is well organised and coherent, using a variety of cohesive devices.

The paragraphs are introduced in a variety of ways, using grammatical structures rather than obvious linkers (If we surf the web; If a country decided; Investing on; We also have to; But what about). More could be done to link across the paragraphs, to make them less independent, but the overall effect is of a cohesive text.

Language5There is a wide range of vocabulary, including less common lexis used appropriately (environmental catastrophes; highly polluted; exotic food; highly toxic substances; minimizing their poisoning effects; change their policy).

There is a range of simple and complex grammatical forms used with a good degree of control and flexibility to convey certain ideas succinctly.

There are minimal errors which do not impede communication.

FCE Essay Examples: Topic (Fashion) 

Question:

In your English class you have been talking about the fashion industry. Write an essay using all the notes and giving reasons for your point of view.

Some people say the fashion industry has a bad effect on people’s lives.
Do you agree?

Notes

Write about:
1. whether people’s appearance is important
2. the price of clothes
3. …………………… (your own idea)

Answer:

In today’s world, the fashion industry has a strong importance in people’s lives. The fashion industry say to the society what to wear and creates new types of clothes all the time.

Some people claim that the fashion industry has a bad effect on people’s lives, they say that the fashion industry creates clothes that the society has to wear. Furthermore, the clothes’ price is extremely high and people, who can’t afford it, should not be in the society.

In the other hand, the fashion industry guide the people to be in a good appearance, because, nowadays, the appearance of the person is more important than the person itself.

In my opinion, the fashion industry doesn’t has a bad influence on people’s lives. It’s something which was created to help people what to wear.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content5All content is relevant and the target reader is fully informed.

The essay discusses the role of the fashion industry and expresses some negative aspects (nowadays, the appearance of the person is more important than the person itself) and also cost (the clothes’ price is extremely high).

The candidate also expresses their own idea, suggesting that the fashion industry has a lot of influence on people (say to the society what to wear).

The candidate concludes the essay with an opinion, which sums up the main points made.

Communicative
Achievement
2Some of the conventions of essay writing are used appropriately. The register and tone are consistently formal and there are some expressions which are appropriate for an essay (In today’s world; Some people claim; Furthermore; In my opinion). There is also an introduction and a conclusion.

Although straightforward ideas are communicated, the target reader’s attention is not always held. For example, the final paragraph attempts to sum up the main points, but the ideas are not clearly expressed.

Organisation2The text is generally well organised and coherent. There is a clear structure to the text with an introduction, main body and conclusion. Paragraphs are used for the development of ideas.

The text is connected using linking words and a limited number of cohesive devices, some of which are misused. More use of pronouns would limit the repetition of key phrases.

Language2There is a range of everyday, topic-specific vocabulary, which is used appropriately (creates new types of clothes; Some people claim; extremely high; is more important than).

Simple grammatical forms are used with a good degree of control, although the use of verbs in the third person is not consistent. There are attempts to express ideas using a range of grammatical forms, passives and modals for example, but these are less successful (people, who can’t afford it, should not be in the society; the fashion industry guide the people to be in a good appearance; It’s something which was created to help people what to wear).

Errors are noticeable but meaning can still be determined.

Answer:

Fashion industry is very a discussed subject nowadays: they create and design new clothes everyday in order to satisfy some people needs.

There are many people who claim that the fashion industry is important and good for society. According to them, this industry design beautiful clothes and thanks to that every person can wear shirts, trousers or any acessory which is on today’s fashion.

On the other hand, the fashion industry in some people opinion, controls the market of clothes and because of that they can’t wear what they want to. In addition, the industry can increase the price of clothes, forcing people who don’t want to be “oldfashioned” to buy and pay a large amount of money to keep “beautiful”.

In my opinion, we can’t let the fashion industry decide what we must or musn’t wear. We shouldn’t judge people for its appearance,because that is not important. We must wear whatever we like, want and feel confortable with.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content5All content is relevant to the task and the target reader is fully informed.

The candidate discusses the importance of appearance in terms of fashion (this industry design beautiful clothes and thanks to that …) and concludes that We shouldn’t judge people for its appearance.

The negative aspect of the price of clothes is mentioned and an opinion given on how this affects people’s choice (forcing people … to buy and pay a large amount of money to keep “beautiful”).

A third aspect states how choice for consumers is limited due to the fashion industry’s control over design and the market (the fashion industry in some people opinion, controls the market of clothes)

Communicative
Achievement
3The conventions of essay writing are used appropriately. There is an introduction, topic paragraph and a conclusion. The register is appropriate for the task, using generally neutral language to discuss both positive and negative aspects of the question.

Straightforward ideas are communicated, using some appropriate language (in order to; According to them; the industry can increase) to introduce the ideas, and to hold the target reader’s attention.

Organisation4The essay is well organised and coherent. There is a clear overall structure and the ideas are linked across sentences and paragraphs using referencing, substitution and paraphrasing to avoid repetition.

There are a variety of appropriate linking words and cohesive devices (many people who; According to them; this industry; thanks to that; On the other hand; In addition; In my opinion).

Language3A range of everyday, topic-specific vocabulary is used appropriately (to satisfy some people needs; good for society; controls the market; forcing people) but some errors do occur with less common lexis and expressions (on today’s fashion).

A range of simple and some complex grammatical forms is used with a good degree of control (can increase the price of clothes, forcing people who don’t want to be).

There are some repeated errors with prepositions and third person verbs, but these do not impede communication.

Answer:

The society we live today is characterised by technology in constant development, fast speed processes, information travelling and getting to people at a blink of an eye and a complex web of social networking. In this context, the fashion industry is becoming increasingly important and having a more and more paramount role in our lives.

On one hand, the fashion industry is undeniably a source of profit and income. It hires millions of people all over the world and generates millions of dollars every year. Furthermore, such profitable business is also believed to be able to spread and make known the culture of a people, encouraging and enhancing a better understanding of each other.

Nevertheless, for those who are neither impressed nor motivated by numbers and figures, the fashion industry is seen as one which segregates people, isolating those who not fit their laws and commands. It is stated that people place too much importance on appearance and the material, world, sadly true, and the fashion industry just spurs on such situation. Moreover, not only are the costs of fashion item unrealistically high, it is thought to be a money better spent on more pressing issues, such as poverty and hunger.

I do believe that the fashion industry, as it is today, has a harmful effect, because it values a minority of people in detriment to the majority. However, it has such a wide reach that, it put into a good use, it can save lives.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content5All content is relevant to the task and the target reader is fully informed.

The candidate presents a balanced argument, discussing their own idea first that the fashion industry is important as it provides jobs and income for a huge number of people.

The essay then discusses the negative aspect of the fashion industry in relation to appearance (the fashion industry is seen as one which segregates people; people place too much importance on appearance).

Finally, the high cost of fashion is mentioned in relation to the price of clothes and it is suggested that money could be better spent on social issues rather than on fashion.

Communicative
Achievement
5The conventions of essay writing are used effectively to hold the target reader’s attention. The register and tone are consistently appropriate and there is a range of suitable expressions which introduce both positive and negative aspects of the question, which are balanced throughout the essay.

Straightforward and more complex ideas are communicated, making links between the importance of fashion in consumers’ lives and how the fashion industry affects people, communities and wider society (the fashion industry is undeniably a source of profit and income. It hires millions of people all over the world; it values a minority of people in detriment to the majority).

Organisation5The essay is well organised and coherent. There is a clear overall structure and the ideas are linked effectively across paragraphs and sentences through the use of paraphrasing, substitution, ellipsis and referencing (In this context; It hires; such profitable business is also believed; Nevertheless, for those who; sadly true; such situation; not only are).

Organisational patterns are used to generally good effect, for example links are made between fashion and industry, fashion and finance and fashion and society throughout the text, making clear connections between the separate aspects.

Language5There is a range of vocabulary, including less common lexis which is used appropriately in most cases (is characterised by; at a blink of an eye; paramount role; undeniably; the culture of a people; enhancing; neither impressed nor motivated; segregates; isolating; in detriment to).

A range of simple and complex grammatical forms is used with control and flexibility to express more complex ideas.

Although there are some errors, these mainly occur when more ambitious language is attempted and do not impede communication.

FCE Essay Examples: Topic (Languages) 

Question:

In your English class, you have been talking about learning languages. Now your English teacher has asked you to write an essay for homework.

Write an essay using all the notes and giving reasons for your point of view.

There are more reasons to learn a foreign language than just to pass a test.’ Do you agree?

Notes

Write about:
1. pleasure
2. personal challenge
3. ……………………… (your own idea)

Answer:

“There are more reasons to learn a foreign language than to pass a test”

Everything around us revolves around language(s), it is the most important thing in our lives. Society would just not function without it. They are It is our future and I would personaly love to learn as many as I possibly can.

Not everything in life is done because it is necessary. Learning a new language can be a lot of fun. Many people only do it as a hoby, or their knowledge is something that brings them pride and pleasure.

Secondly, we have people who do it simply to challenge themselves. Truly I believe that having a great outcome that stems from your hard work and dedication to learn something new is a wonderful way to challenge prove your ability to yourself and others. Then there is travelling. It is very important to be able to understand and have a conversation with someone abroad, unless you would like to get lost or worse.

To conclude, I think that learning a new language is an amazing thing no matter why you do it. It is always better to do things out of enjoyment, but even if you do it for a test, that knowledge will always be useful.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content5All of the content is relevant to the task. The candidate has discussed pleasure, personal challenge and travel as different motivations for learning a language, so the target reader is fully informed.
Communicative
Achievement
5The conventions of the essay genre have been used effectively to hold the target reader’s attention. Straightforward and complex ideas have been communicated: Everything around us; Not everything in life is done because it is necessary; unless you would like to get lost or worse; I think that learning a new language is an amazing thing no matter why you do it.
Organisation4The text is well organised and coherent, using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices: without it. It is; as many as I possibly can; only do it; people who do it; Then there is travelling; To conclude; that knowledge.
Language4A range of vocabulary, including less common lexis, is used appropriately: revolves around; function; a great outcome; stems from; no matter why.

A range of simple and some complex grammatical forms has been used with control and some fexibility: Truly … others; It is very important … worse; It is always … be useful.

The errors do not impede communication: … personaly; hoby.

Answer:

Learning a a foreign languages is very important nowadays. English, in particular, is essential because it allows is spoken all over the world. That’s the reason why we start studying it from the age of six years old. Going abroad and being able to speak to native people is very satisfying and that’s why I want to improve my knowledge about foreign languages.

I decided to take this exam to know how high my level of English is, but also because I need this certification to go abroad next summer. I really want to come back to Cornwall, an amazing region in the South-West of England. I’ve been there twice with my family, but now I want to go alone. Only being there to England I can really improve my English comprehension and speaking skills.

Fortunately I can will have some English lessons which taught in English at university and I can’t wait for it because it will be an interesting challenge for me.
Studying foreign languages is essential to live and to travel. It isn’t simple and I surely have to challenge myself everyday, but the result is so satisfying that we I can’t do without it.

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content3There is some minor irrelevance here, since the focus of the discussion seems to be the candidate’s personal experience and motivation, and the points about learning for pleasure and personal challenge are only incidentally addressed. The target reader is on the whole informed.
Communicative
Achievement
4The conventions of the essay genre have been used to hold the target reader’s attention. Straightforward and some complex ideas have been communicated: English, in particular, is essential; Going abroad and being able to speak to native people is very satisfying; an interesting challenge for me; Studying … do without it.
Organisation3The text is generally well organised and coherent, using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices: That’s the reason why; that’s why; but also because; I’ve been there; I can’t wait for it; without it.
Language4A range of vocabulary, including less common lexis, has been used appropriately: an amazing region; comprehension and speaking skills; Fortunately; the result is so satisfying.

A range of simple and complex grammatical forms has been used with a good degree of control: That’s the reason … six years old; I decided … next summer; I’ve been there … go alone; Fortunately … for me.

The errors do not impede communication: knowledge about; come back; Only being to England I can; everyday

FCE Essay Example: Topic (History) 

Question:

In your English class you have been talking about learning history at school. Now, your English teacher has asked you to write an essay.

Write an essay using all the notes and giving reasons for your point of view.

‘Everyone should be taught the history of their own country.’ Do you agree?

Notes

Write about:
1. what people can learn from the past
2. it’s more important to think about the future
3. …(your own idea)

Answer:

A very common topic that is being discussed nowadays is wether schools should teach subjects that some may consider useless later in life. A clear example is history, since it is quite difficult to learn and does not help us in day-to-day activities.

However, many people do not realize the importance of it or that it affects our lives today. For example, our political system would not be this way if it weren’t for the Ancient Greeks, numerous politicians and wars who helped shape democracy and our constitution. Yet it is still thought that it’s useless.

In addition, it is very important that we never forget about our past since we must know where we were standing years ago. Moreover, there are some things, such as World War II, that we have to remember to prevent them from happening again. We should also know where we we were standing a century ago: our origins, our identity. The more you learn about your ethnicity, the better.

All in all, I think that it is extremely important to learn about one’s own country’s history. Anyone who gets the chance to do this should not waste it, since they are very fortunate to have this opportunity

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Comments:

Subscale GradeCommentary
Content5All content is relevant to the task and the target reader is fully informed.
The first two points have been discussed together in detail and a third
point, about origins and identity, has been included.
Communicative
Achievement
5The conventions of essay writing have been used effectively to discuss the issues in an informed manner. Straightforward and some more complex ideas, for example the point about the Ancient Greeks and the closing statement, are communicated using an engaging tone which is suitable for a wide audience and which holds the reader’s attention throughout.
Organisation5The text is well organised and coherent and makes effective use of a variety of cohesive devices to skilfully connect ideas both within and across sentences and paragraphs. Some organisational patterns are used to good effect, for example the parallel short statements ending the third and fourth paragraphs.
Language5There is a range of vocabulary, including less common lexis (numerous politicians; shape democracy and our constitution; our origins, our identity; your ethnicity) used appropriately. There is a range of simple and complex grammatical forms used with control and flexibility. Errors, mainly related to less common lexis, are minimal.

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